the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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