I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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