the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
