some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
