Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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