I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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