im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
