im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
