I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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