It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Actions speak louder than pants.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
