My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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