Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
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