He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
do herpes really smell.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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