Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
