Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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