he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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