She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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