i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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