the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize