arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
