Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
