I love black thongs
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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