everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Everclear isn't food dammit
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize