I want to have your abortion
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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