6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
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He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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