you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He felt like a one man threesome
it's like heaven, but drunker
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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