And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize