You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Its about making memories worth repressing
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
