it was like eating out sand paper
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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