he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
