Where did you get a picture of my penis
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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