Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
and you said cock pushups were impossible
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Randomize
