You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
