adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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