This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
