Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
why do cheetos always look like penises
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
