We're like a lot better than the average bears
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
