god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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