Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
