So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
