my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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