last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
