I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
