Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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