Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
