he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
They should really pass out barf bags in church
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
