my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
