I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
