Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
