WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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