Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's never too late to be topless.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I wear drunk well.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
