im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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