Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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