I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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