He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
