I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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