ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
