I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
