Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
