There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
