so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
love makes seman taste better
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
