i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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