The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
